Photo by Catherine Pound Photography

I’ve been thinking a lot about merging my two instagram accounts and making my personal one our home, for both life and business.

@_luisa_  & @_luisa.starling_ are both me, but the way I open my heart on the two is so different.

It’s all about finding myself…

I’ve been discovering myself like never before ever since I’ve moved to London, and wether you want it or not, spending time alone teaches you valuable lessons. 

I’ve learned that being on the edge of uncertainty makes me grow as a human and as a professional. Not knowing what life will bring me makes me anxious but also so curious about the little things. I believe I’ve become a better observer, I’ve become more humble, and I have also learned how it feels to be the one others take care of, instead of always being the giver.

My life in Lisbon was quite safe when I left. I had my safe beautiful home, my car, my clients, my independence, my list of contacts, my office, and suddenly I felt like I was stuck in my safe little world.

Whenever people needed help they knew I would always help and be there, and I learned to be the one taking people under my wing. 

But I needed more. I needed to know how it felt to leave, to begin fresh, start over, try another way of living, and I came to London. 

London is an amazing city to live in. All the cultures, the food, the art, the fast-paced growth. 

It is incredible that it can make you dream, and it can also break you to pieces.

My past six months in London have been about survival, and about finding my voice.

I’ve been face to face with being on the verge of having no money, I’ve been sad for being by myself without a husband by my side, and I’ve gone a month and a half without taking photos of a single person. It is very easy to feel like you are worth nothing when times are hard… but coming out of them also teaches you how strong you can be when you need.

I’ve discovered how important it is to surround yourself with only the ones that matter; that it is NOT charity when a close friend helps you achieve something you really want… that accepting a gift is as important as knowing how to give.

Photo by Jamie Sia Photography

On love and all…

I learned also that I don’t need a man in my life. If I have a man in my life it is because I want to not because I need. 

When Miguel went on his six months trip I felt like my life would be on hold. I had been with him for seven years, and suddenly that safe umbilical cord had been cut and I was so lost. This was a terribly hard lesson to learn but one of the most important ones, because you don’t really notice how attached you become to someone over the years. And actually, it helped me rediscover who I am in my core. I learned that I can be a healthy sane person without him, and that if he is married to me and I am married to him it has to be because we want to, not because we need to. Because there is passion and love and companionship.

I am me. He is him. And together we are two people who complete each other. But we are not ONE. Because I feel that in the ‘one’ thing I lose myself. But in the being two, we are stronger.

We are independent humans with different interests, who happen to really care for each other and choose to share life everyday. Having him back has been a journey of discovering what has changed, and learning to accept each other in a more real way. We are still adapting. And I still occupy most of the bed! Haha! #andthatwillneverchange

Photo by Fairclough Photography

Who runs the world? (Girls)

All of my experiences of the past six months made me see how much of a feminist I am. I find inspiration in women who are rebels and dictate the rules. Women who don’t follow the norm, live their lives to the fullest, and decide their own destinies, despite of what is expected of them. Lauren O’Farrell (my sister-wife) is one of them. My favourite one, actually (but that is an entire different post on rebel inspiring women).

And I feel that the artist that was inside me has started really coming out, trying new things. And she is light and a lot of darkness too. She is fuzzy and bubbly, but also knows clearly what she wants. She is strong and she is vulnerable and she is happy being happy, but also knows how to enjoy being sad and depressed.

Back to the start!

This post started with me saying I’ve been thinking of merging my two Instagram accounts, and all of the above is the explanation why. This account is ME. The human and the artist, with all its flaws and happy days and sad days too.

@_luisa.starling_ is only a brand. It’s beautiful and perfect from the outside… but who the hell wants to only be like that? 

I surely don’t. 

I want to be me in everything that I do. And I believe that professionally, ‘killing’ my business account on Instagram is a good start. It is about finding my voice and how my everyday affects my work… with my personal account, I am all about emotion and being true. With this change I am all about letting my clients know who I am as a human, and not just as a brand.

Photo by Elsie Dippenaar Photography

What do you think?

All the love?


Share this story